It goes on and on my friend

Recently someone asked me if I ever thought I'd catch up on my old photos, if I'd ever manage to go through them all and do whatever it is that I plan to do with them.

I answered no. Partially because that would take a really long time, even if photography was the only thing I was doing, which it's very much not, it would take a really long time. Then it would reset. Every photo, every new platform, every new disruptive technology is a new photo that needs editing and posting and doing something with.

Those photos in my backlog, for the most part, I did do something with. They're on Flickr or were on a blog. They got posted somewhere at some point. Just in a place that I no longer spend time or that is no longer up or a blog that ran out of free storage so I migrated to another to another to another.

It never ends. I'll always be dealing with it. I just hope I can do a smarter better job.

I'd love to get more of my photos up but I don't even know if that's really the point anymore. Having the files in order, tagged and well backed up, that's a good goal. Having a place where I post all of them, nah.

If I get them all up here or on Instagram or wherever who knows if it'll last.

These things generally don't. They're fleeting.

I have this place now. I can do what I can do and then deal with whatever's next when it hits.

In this age of crisis and chaos it's hard to think about the future, honestly I try not to because it just feels too scary and sad. All we have is this moment, we are promised nothing else. So for now I'm trying to keep Hootsuite fed. I'm trying to get print on demand running again. I want to post here. One day when money is less of an issue I'll do right by my files and have hard drives upon hard drives and some cloudy meatballs.

It's an imperfect mess but it is what it is.

I can still take pictures. I am going to enjoy it. I'm going to try not to repeat the file management mistakes I've made in the past.

Lynn Valley

From hiking at Lynn Valley. I've been meaning to check it out for a while.

I made it across the suspension bridge. It was harrowing and my heart race took a few hours to go back to normal but I did make it. Bridges are not my favourite thing. Suspension bridges are basically the worst thing ever. So I was pretty proud. Overcome your fears and what not. Try not to get stuck or curl up into a ball halfway across.

I did find a route that involves not crossing a suspension bridge so if I'm there in the future I'll probably do that instead.

The hike was pretty. I find the cliff diving thing confusing. At first I saw the signs and was like well that's a bit much then I was like oh yeah that makes sense.

I mean I hardly managed to cross the suspension bridge so there's no way I was gonna jump off a cliff.

Humans are weird.

It was cool watching the splashes after people jumped in. And the water was a beautiful greenish colour. Fantastic.

As usual I felt over dressed and hard core. Having a father whose catchphrase could be "Ticks really freak me out" has motivated me to take tick precautions whenever I hike even if everyone else is in flip-flops. I already have enough nerve damage going on. Not looking for any more.

Trees in black and white

I spend a fair amount of time in parks and forests — something something landscape architecture.  Something I've noticed is the intense contrast between the light in the shade where the leaves block the light and the light where the sun gets in and makes it to the ground. It's a big difference. So I figured I'd take some shots of it and edit them into black and white and push the contrast.

I don't know if this works.

Turning over a leaf

Aw jeez this is super impressive. I turned these around in less than twelve hours. That's gotta be some kind of record.

I am getting back into editing photos and it's been nice. It can also be hard and tedious but that's what happens when you leave stuff for ages. I stopped dealing with photos at some point during my MSc dissertation and never got back to it.

I've been in bad financial/mental shape ever since then and haven't really been up for dealing with it. Doing a couple of weeks of photos is one thing. Going through thousands (and I do mean thousands) of photos is daunting.

There's a part of me that wants things to be complete and orderly. Everything dealt with, in it's place. It's not great for the I was clueless and did this wrong and I'm less clueless now but just doing the best I can, which is probably woefully inadequate of life. I need to let go of this idea of every photo, every file, every this. Bit by bit. Some today. Some later. It gets better bit by bit, not all at once.

Sometimes you just have to lean into that being where you are thing. I also have to make sure to say no to that completeness voice. I am here and this is where things are at. I need to enjoy it and make it work.

I got into macro photography mostly by mistake. I did some flower pics for one reason or another with a low aperture and really enjoyed the blur effect and how they looked. So I kept doing more. There are lots of flowers and little curbside gardens in my neighbourhood so I've been thinking about doing some macro shots of them. It's really hot and bright during the day so it's good for an evening wander.

I have been hunting for a new doctor, which is stressful in general but extra for me because doctors make me super anxious. I hope this one works out. I spent far too long trying to find somewhere I could go and then decided to go to the woods because I was feeling super edgy. As they say the trees will heal you.

The trees will heal you

It's nice being so close to Pacific Spirit Regional Park — though I wish I was a bit closer. It's a nice forest and good for wanders. There are some things I find unpleasant about this community like the single-family homes and the drab suburbanism but it can also be nice. The Dunbar high street is cosy — and could easily be extended all the way along the road via good zoning — and I decided to go for ice cream after my wanders. My days here are numbered so I really need to do my best to get what I can out of being in this neck of the woods.