I’ve gotten into the idea of rest and what it means for us that rest is so absent from our society, what it means for me that I’m part of a discipline where rest is seen as optional, to be part of an educational pedagogy where resting is seen as frivolous and optional, where the impossible is endlessly demanded of me.

It seems that in a world that doesn’t know how to be still I am unable to rest.

My body needs rest, craves rest. Still it also doesn’t know what that feels like.

By going back to school I accepted that I was going to be pushed to the brink mentally and physically a lot of the time, that the hobbies that keep me going and time and space to meander that make me content would be gone. I don’t know why I am expected to give up so much of myself and my life by being at UBC.

I am a human. I need rest. We all do.

Today I was feeling tired. I’m not sure why. I am cutting back on coffee because various people who are involved in professions related to my well-being (including numerous doctors and two therapists) have suggested that I drink far too much of it and that perhaps that is linked to my anxiety and insomnia.

I don’t disagree so I am attempting to cut back.

It’s painful. I think it’s gonna take several attempts. The mornings are harder and slower.

I don’t miss the feeling of being buzzed from alcohol (I don’t drink these days). I’m already tired and out of it enough of the time. I don’t need substances to do that. I can get there all on my own. I do love the feeling of sharpness, focus and energy that coffee gives me.

Still, as someone who has never been able to sit still and has generally had trouble sleeping perhaps it’s a bit much. I feel like I’m vibrating.

This past year all my established wellness rituals died fast. In my SALA life coffee was a substitute for taking breaks and sleeping. When I couldn’t focus I drank coffee. When I was exhausted I drank coffee. When I was overwhelmed I drank coffee. When I needed to be on and wasn’t I drank coffee.

I wasn’t drinking coffee because I loved it but because I didn’t have time to take care of myself. Coffee is not a substitute for rest or wellbeing.

I know I need to be gentle with myself as I ride the rocky road of shaking that easy kick in the morning. I no longer have any caffeinated coffee at home and the mornings are much harder. I miss that feeling.

When I first got the suggestion that maybe I should think about cutting coffee I was resistant. I was raised on a steady diet of Gilmore Girls. I’ve already lost enough parts of myself recently I didn’t want to lose that too. I am the coffee girl, the one who drinks far more coffee than is reasonable.

But I am also the girl who is very logical and likes research and evidence based decision making so here we are. I will try and it will be rough.

The point I started with, my digressions have digressions, I felt like I couldn’t stay home all day even if I felt crappy. Granted I don’t want to live my life if I feel lousy, because feeling lousy is just a part of life. I couldn’t tell which thing my body wanted from me. Go out or stay home. It’s hard to tell.

I feel like every day I need to be useful and productive and do stuff. I finished two books today yet that doesn’t feel like much. I organized and cleaned.

Still it’s not enough.

The summer as much as it’s a time to rest is a really short window to do all the stuff I don’t have time for during the semester. I have all these ideas and interests and if I’m not making myself useful then it’s a waste right?

SAIT Graphic Design Fast Track: Icon set

One of the assignments we did in my SAIT graphic design program was to put together a set of five icons representing things about ourselves. I really enjoyed working on the icons. There is something really fun about taking something and putting it into it's simplest form. You are trying to get to the essence of something with just a few different lines and shapes. It's something I definitely want to do more of.


Bike icon.jpg
Camera icon.jpg
Coffee cup icon.jpg
Laptop icon.jpg
Notebook laptop.jpg

SAIT Graphic Design Fast Track: Photoshop Slothee assignments

In our Photoshop classes we did a set of overlapping assignments leading up to a proof of concept. We were given the instruction of doing something with S6 in mind so I decided to do a sloth drinking iced coffee for a potentially future real company called the Slothee Iced Coffee Co. There were various things we had to include in each assignment that influenced choices. I really enjoyed the colour palette and the way that things came together. There are some things I did that I though were clever solutions like using a ice cube brush as part of the logo to meet a criteria.

I really like how the final poster turned out. I went in to tutorial and had something fully submittable but worked with the instructor to come up with something sharper and to push the assignment to another level. His advice was really helpful and got me to the design here.



How I learned to stop complaining and love Tim Hortons

So it is the first Friday of the summer. A very good day in an of itself and then it happened. Three boxes of donuts, Timbits and a dozen bagels appeared in the staff kitchen. It seems Fridays are donut day. What a lovely idea.

Now the thing about these donuts and bagels is that they were not just any donuts and bagels, they were from Tim Hortons. Tim Hortons is an iconic Canadian coffee institution with two major downsides: ridiculously long line ups and appalling bad drip coffee.

Yes, whether you are prepared to admit it or not the drip coffee at Tim Hortons is awful. Those beans regret being selected for that purpose. There is a reason that double doubles are so common: you need a lot of sugar and cream to make that coffee consumable.

Now that sounds like complaining and I haven’t even gotten to the lines yet.

However, there is an upside. Tim Hortons is extremely affordable. One might go so far as to say ridiculously cheap. You can get a breakfast sandwich and an iced coffee for less than the cost of a latte at Starbukcs. Now that is the power of Tim Hortons. If your coworkers invite you for a Starbucks run and you haven’t found a twenty on the sidewalk recently you always say yes with a little bit of financial trepidation. If your friends invite you on a Tim Hortons run you know you can get something without thinking twice about it.

Their baked goods are delicious. The donuts may be terrible for you but for the most part they are delicious. They are the perfect Friday pick me up.

Their breakfast sandwiches are excellent — so long as you don’t order the sausage which is quite suspect. Their muffins are delicious and about $1.15.

Their iced coffee is delicious, though a little sugary, it is at a price that can’t be beat.

So if you can face the lineups, which the worst one was about half an hour long, then you get your moneys worth.


Ice ice baby

I have not been particularly ambitious on the cooking front, it seems that old habits — perogies, and pita with hummus die hard.

The weather was rather nice a few days ago and at the suggestion of a friend I decided to make some iced tea. I cold brewed chai for twenty-four hours and the results have been very lovely. Hope to try make some iced coffee once the snow clears.

I also experimented with some homemade ice cream, which I have made in the past. Took a vanilla base and added chocolate covered pretzels, which had been crushed into smaller bits. Very good results. Quite yummy. Would try cutting back on vanilla in the future.