Turning over a leaf

Aw jeez this is super impressive. I turned these around in less than twelve hours. That's gotta be some kind of record.

I am getting back into editing photos and it's been nice. It can also be hard and tedious but that's what happens when you leave stuff for ages. I stopped dealing with photos at some point during my MSc dissertation and never got back to it.

I've been in bad financial/mental shape ever since then and haven't really been up for dealing with it. Doing a couple of weeks of photos is one thing. Going through thousands (and I do mean thousands) of photos is daunting.

There's a part of me that wants things to be complete and orderly. Everything dealt with, in it's place. It's not great for the I was clueless and did this wrong and I'm less clueless now but just doing the best I can, which is probably woefully inadequate of life. I need to let go of this idea of every photo, every file, every this. Bit by bit. Some today. Some later. It gets better bit by bit, not all at once.

Sometimes you just have to lean into that being where you are thing. I also have to make sure to say no to that completeness voice. I am here and this is where things are at. I need to enjoy it and make it work.

I got into macro photography mostly by mistake. I did some flower pics for one reason or another with a low aperture and really enjoyed the blur effect and how they looked. So I kept doing more. There are lots of flowers and little curbside gardens in my neighbourhood so I've been thinking about doing some macro shots of them. It's really hot and bright during the day so it's good for an evening wander.

I have been hunting for a new doctor, which is stressful in general but extra for me because doctors make me super anxious. I hope this one works out. I spent far too long trying to find somewhere I could go and then decided to go to the woods because I was feeling super edgy. As they say the trees will heal you.

“The trees will heal you”

It's nice being so close to Pacific Spirit Regional Park — though I wish I was a bit closer. It's a nice forest and good for wanders. There are some things I find unpleasant about this community like the single-family homes and the drab suburbanism but it can also be nice. The Dunbar high street is cosy — and could easily be extended all the way along the road via good zoning — and I decided to go for ice cream after my wanders. My days here are numbered so I really need to do my best to get what I can out of being in this neck of the woods.

Rain rain

Fall in Calgary makes up the two most beautiful weeks of the year. It is extremely fleeting. The weather is perfect and mild, and the leaves are changing. It is quite simply beautiful.

Fall in Copenhagen seems to mostly consist of rain — though there are rumblings that it will warm up later in the week.

People usually don’t take me seriously when I tell them that I love rain. I love it the way I love otters, or the colour baby blue. It is something simple that fills me with joy. They usually tell me to move somewhere rainy and see how long it takes me to get over it, how long it takes for it to become annoying.

The last few days in Copenhagen have been rainy. Yes, this does make it a pain to go outside and riding a bike in the rain can be a trying and cold experience — though I will take rain over wind if given the choice, but usually they are partners in crime. At times it makes you want to stay in and do the bare minimum possible. It makes things muddy, messy and grey. Those are just the superficial sides of rain.

Then there is the real side of rain, the simple pleasure of watching the rain fall down outside from a balcony, common room, or back door. Listening to it hitting the ground, steadily coming down. The look of the outline of rain on a balcony, coming close to the door but not quite. There is the joy of bundling up, sucking it up, and families wandering around with colourful umbrellas. There is something peaceful and serene about rain. Last night I went out on my balcony and just watched the rain come down. I thought it may be a bit of a pain, but isn’t it wonderful.