I've been reading this book for years

I've been reading this book for years. Literally years.

Not that it's a bad book. It just keeps getting left behind or misplaced.

I leave it behind in a pile when I move to another country. It gets kicked deep underneath the bed and I don't retrieve it for six months.

It's taken a long time. I lack focus. i am easily distracted. I am reading too many books at once and not finishing any of them.

I am here, then there. Stuff gets lost and left behind.

Now it's almost over.

It feels wrong in a way for it to end like this. Me reading, easily coasting through the pages. Because he's good. So damn good. And it's the type of book I love.

It's a good book and I probably should've treated it better.

I'm tempted to read something else and save the last ten pages for tomorrow.

Tonight, lying in bed, unable to sleep as I have been so much lately doesn't seem right. It's not what I want to be doing and the book competes with all these other thoughts. Why can't I sleep? How can I function and be happy if I can't sleep? I'll be tired tomorrow, the kind of tiredness that permeates your soul. The kind of tiredness that I'd hoped to shed by now but that I am still carrying around saying it gets better, it'll go away. But when?

Maybe I should just finish the book. Do something useful with this extra time that I have.

You can get a lot done when you can't sleep.

It's satisfying to finish tasks, to check things off lists, to feel like you've accomplished something. These to-dos and things you've started but never finished hang over you like piles of books you started and really do intend to one day finish.

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

I can sleep again. My first reaction to this is relief. I am no longer exhausted all the time. I am slightly less out of it. I wake up before the time when I aim to start leaving my house and it becomes feasible to think about walking to work, or working out in the morning. I no longer feel like I have been hit by a bus for the first twenty minutes of my morning. I have become a functional human being again.

Once the relief and tiredness fades I settle into a new routine. I start to get ready for bed around 10:30 p.m. instead of 2:30 a.m. My life starts to feel crammed. There is not enough time for everything anymore. I am letting things slide. I read less. I am behind on TV shows and movies. There are now at least four fewer hours in my day. It’s amazing how much less you accomplish when you get a healthy amount of sleep. That’s the thing with insomnia, parts of it suck (lying in bed completely exhausted by yet unable to fall asleep, feeling tired all the time) but parts of it are nice (watching an entire TV series in a week to the amazement of your well-rested friends). You miss that feeling of having time to kill, what else do you do after everyone else has gone to sleep? But then again I wouldn’t trade all the time in the world for the joys of a good nights sleep.