Unwelcome discoveries and setbacks

I thought I was making really good progress, that things were going much better than I could've hoped, that I'd be done soon.

Then I found a folder filled with folders filled with folders filled with folders.

Now I get to go back to where I was. Sorting files. Going through duplicates of duplicates of duplicates.

It'll take another week to get back to where I thought I was.

It's frustrating.

There are worse things in the world but that feeling where you thought you were making great progress only to discover that you missed something.

Alas.

I hope to be done by the end of the month so I can move on to bigger and better things.

This has to get dealt with. The chaos and dysfunction. Not knowing where anything is.

I need order and a good system in order to get started on things.

Once this blog was in a place I liked I started using it.

When I'm not doing something I want to be doing I'll stop and think about why. What is stopping me? There's usually a reason.

I can't do my creative projects and a bunch of stuff I have in mind until my files are in something vaguely resembling order. So I just have to keep plugging away.

It took me years to get into this mess. I'm closer and closer to getting out of it.

Order + chaos

This week a needed information from a document that's at my parents house. I called my mom and told her that if I knew where it was — if — it would be in a particular drawer in a particular filling cabinet in a particular room. She opened the drawer and there it was. Like magic. If it hand't been there I have no idea what I would've done. She never would've found it.

In life I believe there is order and there is chaos. Or at least in Rhi there is order and there is chaos. I keep mentioning that my documents are in an advanced state of chaos and that it's making me crazy. I think sometimes people don't get why it bugs me so much.

As readers of this blog know I just finished typing up the first draft of a book I wrote the last time I lived while I was out here. I wrote it out by hand in several notebooks and kept not quite finding the time to finish typing it up. Well, I'm done now.

Since my documents are all on a hard drive that makes me feel like crying and giving up on life I finished typing it up in a separate file. Today I went out into the wilderness to find the document where hours of work and the contents of notebooks that are in another province should reside. It took me twenty minutes to find the right file.

Twenty very stressful minutes.

It's not named what it should be, it's named something else because my old broken computer tends to crash and then I have multiple recovered versions of a document — the joys of being poor. So it's saved as the wrong name. Once I figured that out I found it. It amounts to 101 pages and 44,153 words that I carelessly put somewhere maybe to be found again, maybe not. I need to deal with this mess.

For now I am glad that I get to have those glorious words and that they can meet their final friends. Then I can work on how to edit something so big. I think I'll do it in sections.